Angela's Kitchen

Cooking gluten and diary free... because everyone deserves a cookie!

angelaskitchen

I’m presenting at the Online Nourished Fest

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Hello! For anyone who tuned in on Thursday hoping to see the tips and tricks I use to make my yummy gluten free, dairy free cinnamon rolls, you know we had some tech difficulties. Well, the Online Nourished Festival has rescheduled my presentation! I’ll see you all there!

The NEW rescheduled time to see my FREE presentation of Decadent Cinnamon Rolls:

Register for the session by clicking this link:

Angela of Angela’s Kitchen Presents Decadent Cinnamon Rolls

When: Saturday, September 26, 2020 11am ET/12pm CT

Where: at the Online Nourished Fest

Easter dinner menu planning in the time of coronavirus…

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Easter is coming up in just a few weeks. It is a big holiday in my house. My grown kiddos come home, I bake up a storm, we go to church, them come home and eat and visit. This year, of course, things will be different. Our church is live streaming services. My high schooler is now doing online learning through her high school and her dance studio is using FB Live to hold classes while she uses a kitchen chair as her barre and flannel sheets in the yard as her dance floor. Another kiddo is home from college, doing classes online for the last half of her last semester as a Senior. Her commencement has been canceled and she is meeting up with friends over Zoom, FaceTime, and Google. My oldest is full on adulting, working remotely from his apartment and FaceTiming his mom now and then (smart boy… he knows I miss that sweet face!) Strange times, no?

For this Easter, this one where it will most likely be just those of us in the house, I thought I had better get a plan in place. Currently I am only going to the store every two weeks to minimize contact with others, so this really needs to be planned out. The days leading to Easter are typically a really busy time in the stores as well, and I definitely do not want to be out in that or contribute to the traffic in the stores.

Fortunately, before everything shut down, I did already purchase dairy free chocolate bunnies and peeps (I use them for decorations. Those bright pink bunnies and yellow chicken are so ridiculously colored and nostalgic!). As they seem to disappear fast (I am a peep purist and only want the yellow birds and pink bunnies), I always buy them as soon as they hit the stores. My husband picked up a really nice spiral ham on our last shopping trip which I popped in the freezer for Easter, so that is set. A few days ago Amazon delivered jelly beans and I found an egg coloring kit in the cupboard we didn’t have the time to use last year. Score!

My dinner plans are shaping up to be much more simple and streamlined than usual, but instead of being disappointed to not have all the frills, I am just grateful to have the time to be together, and to be relatively healthy and safe during this time. We’ll have the time to actually reflect on the meaning of the season instead of rushing to get all the fancy bits made. That is something I for one am looking forward to!

For Easter this year we are having:

  • Spiral-cut Ham with Apricot Brown Sugar Glaze: for the last 15-20 minutes of cooking time, glaze ham with a mixture of 1/2 cup apricot preserves (I like one that is fruit juice sweetened, if possible), 1/2 cup packed brown sugar, and 2 tablespoons ground mustard mixed together.
  • Orange Cinnamon Rolls – I made these this past week using my Cinnamon Roll recipe as a base by not adding cinnamon to the brown sugar in the filling and spreading 6-8 tablespoons orange marmalade in the filling step right before sprinkling on the brown sugar. I froze them on a baking sheet lined with plastic wrap before they had a chance to raise. The night before Easter, I’ll pop them into an oiled 9 x 13 pan. Cover the pan with plastic wrap and leave in the refrigerator overnight, baking in the morning. For the topping I’ll use orange juice instead of water for the glaze. Yum!
  • Dairy Free Scalloped Potatoes – I’ll be assembling this this next week and popping them into the freezer (see the recipe instructions for that)
  • Roasted Frozen Vegetables – simply take whatever frozen veggies you have on hand and roast. I am planning on using a mix of broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and maybe mixing with an Italian blend that had yellow squash and broad beans in it (I am looking for the color and flavor blend) and adding a chopped red onion to the mix. Put the veggies on a rimmed baking sheet in a single layer, toss with a couple tablespoons olive oil and about a 1/2 teaspoon each of salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder. Roast in a preheated 400F oven for 20-30 minutes, stirring around every 10 minutes until the veggies are cooked through and the edges start to caramelize and brown.
  • Decorated Hard Boiled eggs – we will make during the end of the week before Easter as a family activity.

I want it to feel special and like a holiday, but not being to go out and get flowers or cute napkins or the other things I normally do means it is time to get creative…

Last year I wove my kids Easter baskets from brown paper grocery sacks and they turned out so cute (an my eco girl loved them!), so that is happening again. I can use paper run through the shredder then lightly crumpled, fabric netting from my craft room or large homemade pompoms as filling. This year we are all home and have three weeks for some fun crafts to do together as a family. I picked 3 that really caught my eye, only required paper, a few things we have laying around the house, and a little time. This weekend we are making these simple origami butterflies out of the colored pages of newsprint, wrapping paper or scrapbooking paper to hang in the windows by our dining table. Second are these lovely origami flowers to help our table bloom. I like the idea of using old piano music that we have laying around from when the kids first took lessons. I think I’ll put them with some of my smaller house plants and scattered jelly beans to decorate the table. Finally are these cute origami bunny baskets from Gathering Beauty. I think her blog is going to be one of my new happy places! How cute would these be filled with jelly beans at each plate? I have some plain paper that we can decorate with colored pencils and markers to personalize them if we want. A bonus craft we might make, are these adorable pom pom branches, both colorful and with white puffs. So fun! We have more than enough yarn to make the pom poms. I am thinking of using a tiny pickle fork as my form to make really small poms. Cuteness overload!

Have you started Eater planning yet? Easter Story Cookies and Hot Cross Buns definitely made my list of things I wanted to make this year for our mini quarantine meal. What are the food traditions you’ll be holding dear this year?

One batter, three mini loaves…

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Easter is coming up in just a few weeks, and the grocery shopping, prepping, and planning I normally do isn’t going to cut it in our sheltering in place, going to the grocery store every two weeks reality. Easter will be a small gathering this year, so the amounts I need to make for our celebration are different as well. That’s where this recipe comes in!

Divide one batter to make Apple Pecan Cinnamon Streusel…

I needed a recipe that I could easily make with things I had on hand, would require less baking time, but deliver on more than one flavor profile. Around here for the holidays, I like variety. the more type of things the better. But with a need to simplify, and a desire to simplify, I decided to see if I could make thee mini loaves out of a single batch of batter. Turns out, you can!

…Blueberry Lemon…

This recipe isn’t just for a tiny Easter dinner celebration, but great for anytime you want more variety to show for your baking effort, without having to actually do that much more effort. Also, I don’t know if it is happening in your house, but all this staying at home means I am baking up a storm, and I simply don’t need three full loaves of deliciousness laying around my house while I am. Yikes! Mamma needs to do some crunches!

…and Coconut Pistachio
Print Recipe

One Batter, Three Flavors of Tea Bread

For those times you don't want to bake three large batches of treats, but still want the flavor variety!
Course: Breakfast, Dessert, Snack
Servings: 3 small loaves

Ingredients

Batter ingredents:

  • 1 1/8 cup unsweetened dairy free milk substitute
  • 1 teaspoon cider vinegar
  • 2 cups Bob's Red Mill 1-to-1 Gluten Free Flour Blend
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons gluten free baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 large egg room temperature
  • 1/4 cup light tasting olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Streusel Topping:

  • 1/2 cup Bob's Red Mill 1-to-1 Gluten Free Baking Flour
  • 1/4 cup dark brown sugar packed
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 2 2/3 tablespoon dairy free margarine or coconut oil melted

Apple Pecan Min-in:

  • 1/3 cup diced, peeled tart flavorful apple
  • 3 tablespoons chopped pecans toasted
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Blueberry Lemon mix-in:

  • 1/3 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
  • 1 teaspoon finely minced lemon zest

Coconut Pistachio mix-in:

  • 1/3 cup sweetened shredded coconut
  • 3 tablespoons chopped pistacios or macadamia nuts
  • 1/4 teaspoon coconut extract
  • extra coconut for topping

Glaze:

  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 tablespoon unsweetened dairy free milk substitute or more to thin glaze if needed
  • 1/4 teaspoon coconut extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon lemon extract

Instructions

  • Preheat oven to 350F degrees. Oil three small loaf pans and set aside.
  • In a small bowl, stir together 1 1/8 cups dairy free milk substitute and cider vinegar. set aside while assembeling the streusel topping and mix-ins.
  • To make streusel, stir together gluten free flour, brown sugar and cinnamon. Pour in melted margarine and blend until until a crumbly dough forms. If you want big crumbs, squeeze streusel dough together to form a clump, then break off larger pieces to sprinkle over the batter. For finer crumbs, simply crumble the streusel dough over top the batter.
  • In three smaller bowls, assemble the mix-in ingredients for each flavor, one flavor mix-in per bowl. Set asside.
  • In a mixing bowl blend dry batter ingredients: gluten free flour, sugar, baking powder, bakig soda and salt. Add milk-vinegar mixture, egg and oil. Mix well until all incorporated.
  • Divide dough into three parts, one part for each bowl with a mix-in flavor. Stir mix-ins for each flavor until distributed through batter before pouring into one of the prepared loaf pans. Smooth dough on each loaf. Top apple pecan batter with completed strussel.
  • Bake loaves in a preheated 350F oven for 30 to 35 minutes until a cake tester comes out clean. Take loaves from pans and put on cooling rack.
  • When loaves are cool, mix together powdered sugar and milk substitute for glaze. Divide glaze into two portion Put lemon extract in one portion and spread on the bluteberry lemon loaf. Add coconut extract to the second portion of glaze and top the coconut loaf. Sprinkle extra shreaded cocnut on cocnut loaf immediantly. Allow glaze to set up before slicing.

Notes

I used Bob’s Red Mill 1-to-1 Gluten Free Flour Blend in their recipe as it is readily available in most stores, such as Target, and online as well. 

Menu Plan Monday – March 23, 2020

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Maple syrup time!

What have you been up to while at home? We’ve been catching up on movies and shows, walking our pup, playing games, organizing, baking, and making maple syrup. This week we’ve got to get back to business as online college, dance and high school schedules have to be set up. I still want to keep things scheduled for game time and down time for us. If we have to be home, I want to really take advantage of the time to really be together…

Besides keeping your hands away from your face and washing your hands regularly for at least 20 seconds, there has been a recommendation for stocking up the pantry and snuggling down at home. I am a big fan of menu planning, stocking up the pantry, batch cooking and stashing a few meals in the freezer. I always think it is a good idea in our regular day to day lives, but especially now in current times.

Below I have a 2 week menu plan with a grocery list. This allows you to only need to go out once for two weeks, but also takes in to account having enough space in your freezer, fridge and shelves. My other suggestion right now is to see what you can pull together for meals from the supplies you already have at home. This is great to do whenever the food budget is a little snug, but I also like to do this a couple of times a year just to see what I’ve got to use up and to keep my food as fresh as it can be. You know how things can get shoved to the back of cupboards… time to see what you got!

To figure out what I already have on hand, I make a quick list of all the meat and veggies I already have in the freezer and refrigerator. Then I take all the cans, grains, and gluten free noodles from my pantry put them on the table, sorting into meals I can make. I jot down the meal idea on a list I hang on my fridge, adding anything else I need to get at the store to complete the meal. For example, using just the items in my cupboard and freezer I could easily make Pad Thai with chicken or shrimp (just need fresh cilantro and a lime – though I always seem to have that in my fridge), 3 different kinds of chili (Black Bean Sweet Potato Chili, Taco Chili and White Bean Chicken Chili), Black Bean Enchiladas (I could use a few more corn tortillas, but could make it work in a pinch), Salmon Sweet Potato Cakes and Tuna Veggie Casserole. That means I easily have over a week comforting, filling dinners as backup just sitting on my selves. Check your shelves – you will be surprised how much you already have on hand.

Below is a menu for two weeks for a family of four. With there still being a chill in the air I’ve leaned into warming flavors and comfort foods for this plan.

Grocery List and Menu Cards (all recipes for the week are on the download)

Breakfasts: You Pick It Smoothie Kits and Baked Apple Oatmeal Cups

Lunch: Sandwiches, Chicken and Broccoli Salad, Salmon Sweet Potato Cakes, and dinner leftovers.

Dinners:

Day 1: Slow Cooker Black Bean Salsa Chicken (freeze about half for day 10’s burrito bowls) over quinoa, rice or cauliflower rice

Day 2: Crustless Breakfast Quiche with fruit of choice

Day 3: Roasted Veggies & Sausage

Day 4: Maple Mustard Chicken Thighs with Roasted Brussels.

Day 5: French Dip Sandwiches (save half of the cooked beef for tacos) on Noah’s Rolls with veggies of choice on the side.

Day 6: Shrimp Pad Thai

Day 7: Slow Cooker Chicken Jambalaya over quinoa, rice or cauliflower rice

Day 8: Black Bean Sweet Potato Chili with tortilla chips

Day 9: White Bean & Ham Soup for the Slow Cooker

Day 10: Black Bean Salsa Chicken Burrito Bowls (with left over Black Bean Salsa Chicken from Day 1)

Day 11: Skillet Lasagna

Day 12: Carrot Cake Pancakes with syrup, sausage and fruit

Day 13: Pizza Sloppy Joes on Noah’s Rolls with Roasted Rosemary Potatoes and veggies

Day 14: Baked Beef and Black Bean Tacos with veggies

Menu Plan Monday – March 16, 2020

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The one dude in the house that is glad about everything being shut down. #ExtraDoggySnuggleBonus #LivingHisBestDogLife

If there is anything that seems to rattle us more than anything else, it is uncertainty. It can be a scary feeling, when our direction doesn’t seem clear and there does not seem to be a way forward. We are used to our set plans, our schedules laid out, with lists to check off. Places to go, people to see, hustling to and fro. When things stop you in your tracks and ask you to stop, to slow down, it can be quite a shock. It could be a job change, upcoming surgery, an illness in yourself or a loved one, or the current state of things right now… When we are uncertain, or direction isn’t clear. We may end up feeling numb, panicked, paralyzed, or desperate to feel like we have some control to what is happening around us.

And you know what? I am not going to tell you not to feel that way. Honor how you are feeling right now, in this moment of uncertainty. Be angry, or sad, frustrated, or laugh at the absurdity of it all. Work through those feelings. They are real. It IS frustrating and crazy right now. We are missing out on planned activities we have been looking forward to and not sure of the next thing.

But after that? Protect your thoughts. Guard them. Yes, things may seem unpredictable now, but worry won’t change the circumstance. What will change is how we choose to react and what we choose to act on. Soaking in the constant news cycle, constantly searching online for answers, can get too scary for yourself and your children. Personally, I have needed to step back and commit to staying off social channels, choosing to check my news feed only a couple of times throughout the day. The news will still be there if I need an update of anything that is truly important for me to know. But this way I control the flood, the panicked tones, and can guard my own thoughts and feelings.

And lastly, I would ask you, even in the midst of all the uncertainty right now, to remember to be kind and be a light to others. We are ALL going through this together. Not everyone has the resources you may have. No matter what life throws at us try to find moments to remember what you are grateful for and reflect on whether it is something you can share with others. Let someone ahead of you in line, offer a pack of toilet paper to someone if your cart has two, call or FaceTime relatives who are elderly and may be cut off from visits right now and feeling alone. There are all ways we can bring a light to someone now when things feel dark. And my friends, when you spread joy, that makes things feel a little less dark and uncertain for you.

In short, be a helper…

One thing I can do is share what and how we are eating for the next couple of weeks. I wanted a plan that would take advantage of what may be still available at the stores (there was not a run on artichokes, canned coconut milk or frozen shrimp at the store – LOL), still be delicious and be comforting. For the second week, I did not want too many components of the recipes to have to be frozen or refrigerated as well, so focused on recipes that had more components I could store in the cupboards. For my family, I was able to double up on recipes so I can put things away in the freezer for another day. For example, today I have a double batch of taco chili in the slow cooker. Before I serve dinner, I will put away half of it to cool in the refrigerator. Before bed, when the chili is cool, I’ll seal, label and date the meal, tucking it into the freezer for another night. By doing this, I’ve extended my menu plan from 2 to 4 weeks. You know how I like to be prepared!

Breakfasts: I checked my cupboards and I have enough ingredients to make pancakes (paleo and gluten free vegan), pumpkin waffles, gluten free oats, to get us through if needed. I also have enough frozen fruit/spinach/chia/dairy free milk on hand to have smoothies for over 2 weeks. I wanted to make sure I did not need eggs for any of my breakfast options, just so I can save the eggs I get for baking for treats or dinner items or save on space in the refrigerator. I also checked on the status of my coffee and tea. Trust me my family does not want me to run out!

Lunches: I have plenty of gluten free bread on hand in the freezer, lunch meat, nut butters, apples, carrots, clementines, gluten free wraps, breakfast items (see above) and I always encourage the eating of leftovers for lunch, so I honestly feel pretty set there as well. Before you go to the store, go through what you already have on hand. Do you have items to take care of breakfasts for a couple of weeks? What else do you need to add to your list or make sure you do. You will be surprised by what you may already have on hand.

Treats: by going through my cupboard, I found I had 4(!) boxes of gluten free brownie mix, 2 cake mixes, frozen gluten free pie crusts, popcorn and enough dairy free chocolate chips to keep everyone’s spirits up for a while. I am not sure why I have so many mixes, because I usually make things from scratch, but I think now is the time to try them out! Why not? I figure if I just make one or two things a week, just for fun, it will be a fun activity for the family to participate in, and we’ll have something tasty when we are done. I jotted down how much eggs/oil/etc. will be needed if we used the mixes. What is in your cupboard?

Grocery List (serves 4 – double if you would like to make a second batch of each to freeze for another week)

Day 1: Mongolian Beef and Broccoli over cauliflower rice, rice or quinoa

-For my budget I made this with ground beef and fresh broccoli this week. There was not any frozen broccoli in my local store. To change the recipe, I cooked and crumbled the ground beef, draining any grease. When beef is cooked, add sauce ingredients and add cut broccoli and sautéing until sauce is thickened and broccoli is crisp-tender. There was no rice at the store (!), BUT there was plenty of frozen cauliflower rice and quinoa available to serve as a side, so pick your favorite accompaniment.

–Roast a whole chicken. Remove chicken meat and package for day two, keeping in the fridge. Make chicken stock from chicken bones. I added a onion, a couple carrots, celery, and garlic to stock.

Day 2: Wild Rice Chicken Soup using chicken and stock from day one.

Day 3: Taco Chili with Dairy Free Brazilian Cheese Rolls (wrap and freeze remaining rolls for day four.

Day 4: Slow Cooker Cassoulet with extra rolls from day three wrapped in foil and heated in the oven for 5ish minutes at 400 degrees.

Day 5: Carnitas Burrito Bowls (in the bowls I will also have Cilantro Lime Rice/quinoa/cauliflower rice, sautéed sweet pepper strips, and sweet corn kernels cooked coconut oil, caramelized onions, garlic, ground cumin and chili powder) If desired, save half of the carnitas for day seven before serving dinner.

Day 6: Spicy Sweet Glazed Chicken with roasted asparagus

Day 7: Pulled Pork on sweet baked potatoes with frozen or fresh veggies on the side. (If you made a really big pork roast for the Carnitas on day five, didn’t pick up a second roast or have room for one, simply save half of the carnitas, mix with your favorite gluten free BBQ sauce and presto! Dinner is served!)

Day 7: Tuna Noodle & Veggie Casserole

Day 8: Teriyaki Chicken with Veggies over pad Thai noodles instead of rice

Day 9: Calico Beans, Corn Bread and apple slices

Day 10: Pizza Stuffed Sweet Potatoes

Day 11: Simple Pork Fried Rice

Day 13: Caramelized Onion and Garlic Hamburgers with Roasted Dijon Brussels Sprouts and Rosemary Oven Potatoes

Day 14: Curried Shrimp (I will do this with green beans as there were no frozen snap peas at the store. Any green veggie will do. In a pinch I would grab frozen spinach, thaw, squeeze out extra liquid and and stir in about 1/3 to 1/2 the package after everything is cooked to add greens to the meal.)

I wasn’t ready this week with a grocery list, but hopefully this list helps give ideas in your planning as we move toward staying home for longer periods during this time. On Monday and every Monday for the next few weeks while things are a bit uncertain, I will post a grocery list, menu plan and prep for a two week menu. Each menu plan will include food for a two week shop for 4 people, breakfasts, lunches, dinners and a couple treats. My hope is that is will ease someone’s way as we go forward.

Feel free to ask any questions and stay safe and cozy!

Menu Plan Monday – November 12, 2018

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This past week I had the great pleasure to join Mia of Plan Simple Meals on her podcast talking about Planning Food for the Holidays. It was so much fun! Let me know what you think.

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We’ve been in a bit of a comfort food place lately. The weather has been chilly enough for the snow to start sticking, so warming casseroles and homemade versions of take-out meals are making it onto the menu. My oldest daughter will be coming home on Friday for Thanksgiving break. She’s requested her favorite Thai Chicken Pizza for when she comes home, so that’s got to happen as well.

Breakfasts this week will be Mango Spinach Smoothies, Pumpkin Pie Smoothies and leftover egg bake (from Wednesday).

Monday:  Tuna Noodle and Vegetable Casserole with a mixed green salad

Tuesday:  Apple Cranberry Pork Chops with roasted rosemary potatoes & sweet potatoes and green beans (A double batch. One batch will be for dinner. One batch I will put into individual portions with roasted sweet potatoes and green beans. I’ll freeze these for quick meals to use as needed during the holiday season.)

Wednesday: Egg Bake with an arugula salad.

Thursday: Mongolian Beef and broccoli over cauliflower “rice” with mango slices

Friday: Thai Chicken Pizza and a salad. (A double batch of 4 pizzas. Two will be for dinner. Two will be frozen before they are baked for a meal during the holiday season.)

Next weekend I’ll be making gluten free herbed Stuffing Bread and Snickerdoodles to freeze for the holidays. I’ll make a double batch of cookies, freezing 1/3 for Thanksgiving and 2/3 for Christmas, minus the couple the kids and I need to sample. I’m calling that quality control. 🙂

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For more menu planning inspiration, check out Menu Plan Monday over at Laura’s site, Organizing Junkie.


How I plan food for the holidays

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Every year before heading into the holiday season surrounding Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve I open up a document labeled the “Holiday Plan” but what I really call in my heart the “Spreadsheet of Joy.” How can a plan be joy filled? For me a little planning goes a long way to help me create the kind of holiday season I want to give my family, while at the same time a season that will ALSO bless me and give me rest I need in the midst of all the craziness during the busy days.

Planning ahead means I can …

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It turns out, you still need to eat…

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“Are you done yet?” ~ Blaze, the wonder pup

Hello, there. I’ve taken so much time off from the blog, that as time has gone on it has become more and more difficult to restart things. I also felt maybe I should explain where I’ve been, which slowed me down from posting as well. Some things that happened were just the business of life, some things were other peoples’ stories to tell. And some things…. well, some things are just tough to talk about on what I always think of as my safe, delicious place.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom that kept me busy. I was up to some fun things, too, while away. I had some great job opportunities. I had 2 kids graduate from high school. I wrote a couple cookbooks (a gluten free and a slow cooker one) and a dairy free one will be out in March. My oldest graduated from college and started being a full-time Adult (notice the capital letter). I celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary, which just proves that if you can find that one special someone you can annoy for the rest of your life, you’ll be set. However, in the midst of all the good things, bad things got tangled together as well. Life can be like that sometimes.

My parents have lived with us for the past 16 years and last summer my dad was diagnosed with Espophegal Cancer. In fact, I had gotten the advance copy of my first book on the same day that his cancer was confirmed.  My book, which I had been dreaming about doing for who knows how long, suddenly didn’t seem important in the of scheme of things. Like I said, all the good and bad tangled up with each other. My dad’s cancer was pretty tough to treat and he did end up passing away this past March.

Yesterday I finally shook my head clear of the fog it’s been in, and decided that it was time to get myself in gear. I’m feeling the stirring of creativity again, the desire to share, the energy to put back into it again. Grief is a funny thing. It can really sap your energy on a deep level. I have suffered, what I can only describe as a grief relapse from time to time. While I know it is a perfectly normal thing to go through, when they happen they are hard on my productivity. Trying to push through grief is like moving through mud, where everything takes a little more energy, like something (or several things) has been added to my to-do list every day.  Have breakfast, miss dad, get ready for the day, miss dad, send emails, miss dad, start laundry, miss dad, go to work, miss dad, pick up groceries, miss dad… Grief just takes up so much time, like having a whole other job that wants all of your attention.

The fog is receding now, the work of it, anyway, and I’m settling back into a groove. I hope you’re all well, and sorry for the silence. To be honest, I had quite a bit of struggle around writing about this. When he was sick, I felt it was his story to tell, and he wanted to play it out pretty close to his chest… But now, well, even in my everyday life I find I edit much of my talk about it all. How I miss him and how much sometimes I am angry at the cancer or at him for not taking care of himself, but mainly how the whole thing was just hard. When talking about it with friends I find myself scanning their faces for signs that I should change the subject, or that I am not very fun right now, or that it is just too, too much… I do know I need to be honest with how I feel, but still worry about what the other person needs enough that I do try to keep it to myself as much as I am able. I am a person that is pretty good at sorting out my own insides anyway. But sometimes grief can have a way of leaking out, so be warned I may give in to the urge to write about it now and then. Don’t worry, I’ll try to balance it out with something delicious.

…

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