I’ve always told anyone who told me that they’re feeling off their game or having trouble focusing on things during tough times to be kind to themselves. To allow themselves grace for the season they are in and that trying to weather storms in life is challenging, messing and stretching, and sometimes you just need to roll with things the way you need to roll with them. If that means you aren’t as tidy, or cheerful or productive as usual, that is cool. Tough seasons of life are a time to be gentle with yourself.
Having said that, I often go and do the opposite when talking to myself. Instead of reassuring myself that I’ve actually been doing pretty well over the past couple years with really difficult personal and family circumstances, I tend to make little lists for myself of all the things I haven’t been doing or taken care of… You know, things like isn’t the house supposed to be cleaner than ever now that I am in it ALL THE TIME. Hey guess what? It turns out, being in your house constantly and using it for every aspect of your life can trash the joint. Who knew? 🙂
I’ll go to bed thinking that the next day is the day I “get myself all together,” which is NOT a great set-up for the next day. It’s a goal that is so vague that I set myself up to be disappointed in what I haven’t completed instead of what I did accomplish. That cycle is just one big self-esteem trap, and it turns out I am really good at it.
One tool that I have been using to help organize myself that has been so positive in my life to get me out of that rut is Mia’s FLOW365 plan at Plan Simple. Her system has helped reframe my planning for the day to focus my time on what really matters to me, to what is truly important in my day-to-day life. I have appreciated how it works no matter what your circumstances are or where your current focus is. It helped me realize all I was showing up for, helped me plan down time to care for myself and to also find space for all the little things that has to happen day-to-day to get the pesky work and home things done as well. The biggest gift for me has been realizing that I really do have a choice to how I spend my day and it has helped make my ordinary everyday times truly matter by helping me shift my perspective. I love that she breaks goal planning into manageable chunks that can be started whenever you want and need to. That has been a lifesaver for me, especially with all the changing circumstances in these uncertain times.
Mia has a FREE 2 day retreat coming up this weekend, November 13-14, 2020 called Make December Matter. It is her gift to women “balancing it all” who want to create something different this holiday season and into the next year. She has amazing speakers lined up, a tasty menu to nourish you during the weekend, planning sheets, and times built into the day to help you recharge. I’ll be popping in and out throughout the days myself, so I hope to see you there!
I’ve been wondering for so long how to come back to the blog when I’ve been away for so long and it stalls me from writing before I even start. I’ll have to apologize AGAIN I tell myself. Then I tell myself I’ll just need to do better from here on out and this will be the day I finally get my act together, whatever that means….
To be honest, my biggest block to get back to writing here is that I have been just in survival mode for a long time. Working in a job where you stand for hours at a time with really bad knees left me with very little energy to do much of anything beyond care for my family, and we had a lot happening around here that needed my energy. I haven’t given myself the grace and kindness to realize I honestly was doing the best I could do for what I needed to do for what was most important for myself and my family during that season. It has been so important for me to finally realize this. I hope if you learn nothing else from my writing today, is that you remember to treat yourselves with the grace and kindness you would extend to others.
And so it turns out, I am finally ok with doing the best I can. This blog and my work here is a one woman show. But it is written by a woman with a family who has really needed her a bit extra for the past little a while, and I feel really good about showing up for them when it was needed. It is written by someone who has been in survival mode for a few years due to intense joint pain, but was trying to wait until I was a bit older to get those joints replaced. And I finally did! This year, after I turned the big 50, I had one knee replaced in July and one 3 weeks ago. I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in that area. Woo! But the truth is that it will be a year of PT exercises, extra naps when needed while I am healing, and generally reminding myself that this is a process and to be kind to myself and it is ok if I just do the best I can.
One thing I do promise is that I will finish answering all the emails from questions I received from the Online Nourished Festival presentation. I appreciate your patience if I have not answered you yet. I did have over 1700 people in my session and received hundreds of emails with questions. I’ve worked through a lot of them, but still have about 100 or so to go. I will get back to you as I am answering as many as I can each day for about an hour at a time. It is time dedicated to you all blocked out in my planner. 🙂 That is as long as I can currently stay at the computer with my knees still healing at this time. Thank you so much for your understanding and patience. I appreciate it more than I can express!